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  “What the fuck did you do, Jack?”

  “Sometimes I talk too much, but he’s not a man I can fuck. I guess I’m too blunt. If I fucked him, then maybe I wouldn’t be so cold and heartless.”

  “You are not allowed to fuck him. I told you he’s mine, and what happened to this thing about he’s not your type?”

  “He’s not my type, but I like his brashness. He’s becoming my type just by seeing him, and you’re responsible for that. I’d rather take care of the baby and let you secure your own position with him, because I don’t think I can be responsible for what will happen next.”

  “What do you mean, what will happen next?”

  “I haven’t had a good fuck in a month and I’m tired of using my fist,” Jack said.

  “Well, welcome to my world. Do you want to trade stories? I can’t remember the last time I had a good blowjob.”

  “From what I heard you can give a good one.”

  “Get the fuck out of my office before the secretary comes in and sees you.”

  Chapter 19

  Dorian

  Just as I was about to look over blueprints that should have been completed by Phillip two weeks ago, I realized the reason we hadn’t been paid for that work. The plans were incomplete and sloppy. I grimaced, removed my glasses, and lowered my head, giving out a loud groan. “For fuck’s sake, Phillip.”

  When I glanced up, my personal assistant stood in the doorway with earbuds and an iPhone in her hand, gesturing with it to get my attention. I guessed when I didn’t see her, she knocked on the door and stepped inside my office.

  “Mr. Hart, you have a client on the phone. He insisted on speaking to you concerning plans for a structure he’s looking to build, and he’d like to talk to you about it, if you have the time.” My personal assistant, Cecilia, gestured with a warm encouraging smile that I should take this call.

  I waved at her in agreement, picked up the phone after she handed me my morning coffee, then she walked outside, closing the door behind her.

  I’d just settled in ready to start on plans Phillip had put off for weeks. Since I walked into my office today, I’d been doing research for a job that Phillip was supposed to have completed last month, but that too wasn’t taken care of, because lately, it appeared, Phillip was always out of the office when things needed to be done.

  We desperately needed money to keep our company going. I had no time for my own life, and certainly no time to get bogged down with extra work and another assignment. However, I thought it best to hear the prospective client, and if the job wasn’t too difficult and time-consuming, the money garnered would be a godsend.

  This was the third time in a month Phillip had called in sick and said he needed a rest. What the fuck did he need rest from?

  Perhaps he’d let Eric and that third unknown man fuck him at the same time. He’d made that proposal to me when I’d found out about Eric. That was something I wasn’t into. I didn’t judge Phillip, I thought he’d made a mistake. When you added a third person in a relationship that was not on solid ground, or had a firm foundation, then you were looking for trouble. I predicted Phillip was in over his head, because as the wise man or woman said, “Two is company, three is a crowd.”

  I thought I’d seen a third man lurking in one of his bedrooms the night I’d made my fateful visit looking for friendship and understanding of my predicament.

  In any case, I didn’t find what I’d looked for with Phillip, and since I didn’t have a man anymore to hold me and to lie around in bed with him, I guessed it had to be me who’d been fucked by two dicks—Phillip and Eric.

  “Yes, this is Dorian Hart. Do you want an appointment to come in today? I think I can fit you in, since I’m not busy and you called early enough.” I was desperate and I hoped it didn’t show in my tone or non-stop chatter.

  “This is Jeremy Westbrook.” My heart stopped. I couldn’t get air to my brain fast enough. I sat and gazed around my office. It needed to be clean. That’s all I thought about. The silence seemed endless coming from me.

  “Are you there, Dorian?”

  “Yes. I’m here.”

  “This is Jeremy.”

  “I know.” I knew that baritone voice. It had my heart racing and my cock twitching. How could I forget the sound of his voice, and that stunning face? I palmed my cock thinking about that fucking fascinating man, sometimes Jeremy was warm, and sometimes he could be cold, but he’d been just right for me. That had been wishful thinking on my part. I could never be anything to him but a fuckboy—someone he’d visit in the middle of the night where he’d take me, leave me, and I’d sit around waiting for him to call when he got tired of fucking his woman.

  “I know your voice, Mr. Westbrook.”

  “Why so formal?” Jeremy questioned.

  “I thought after our last meetings that you might not want to talk to me,” I admitted.

  “If it’s business, why wouldn’t I want to talk to you? I try not to mix business with pleasure.” I wasn’t ready for that statement, but I should have expected it.

  “From now on, Mr. Westbrook, it will be only business. Did I tell you thank you for the tulips?” There was a long pause as if Jeremy had forgotten about the flowers. “Maybe the flowers were an invitation to get into my apartment and fuck me around again?” I added.

  “I’d prefer not to talk about that. Remember, business.” At that moment, I wanted to tell Jeremy to go fuck himself, but the firm needed the money, and I chose to grit my teeth and tighten my jaw, and give him the middle finger instead. “I called you because I’m looking for someone to draw up plans for me.”

  “That’s what I do. What kind of plans? An office building?” I’d hoped he wanted that done because of the money involved.

  “No, for a large house. I need the plans as soon as possible. Maxwell Gold recommended your firm and said that you do the best work in town, but you’re not cheap. I have to have the plans as early as tomorrow. ”

  “The same Max Gold that cost my firm a hundred thousand dollars with the Glisson charade, and you were a party to it? So, he wants to make it up to me by sending you over to give some of it back? I charge five hundred dollars an hour for the plans. When you come in I can discuss the rest of the fee and the contract then.”

  “I don’t care how much you charge as long as you can come up with a drawing I can look at soon.” Jeremy didn’t waver at the sum I’d quoted, or if he’d changed his mind or the plans. He could afford the money. I couldn’t afford to let him get away for more reasons than I cared to think about.

  “I can have the plans ready for you to look over by six this evening. Tell me what you want and I’ll have it ready for you.”

  “Six? Are you sure? That’s just ten hours from now.”

  “I can draw up those plans in my sleep. I’ve been doing this a long time,” I said.

  I heard a chuckle. “I’ll leave everything to your discretion. However, I need a large nursery for a baby, and the nurse needs an adjoining room to the nursery. She should have all the amenities of an apartment, including her own kitchen and, of course, en-suite bathroom.”

  I’d never been so upset in my life after hearing him outlining what he wanted in the plans. I tried to hide my emotional state, but my trembling voice gave me away. Nevertheless, a cold feeling washed over me after the heat of anger.

  “Couldn’t you have found someone else to create this love nest for you?” I questioned, with more bitterness than I should have shown.

  “I’m not looking for anyone else. You’re the last person I tried. They couldn’t do it for me with such a short notice and in the time I needed. I thought it would be business between us. Why are you getting personal?”

  “It is business, but you know how I feel about you. I thought you knew, but then you don’t give a fuck do you? You’re a straight man and you’re planning on... never mind. I’ll have the plans drawn up by six this evening.” I tightened my hand around my chair to steady me before I sai
d something that I would be sorry for.

  “I’ll be there to look the plans over.” Jeremy detailed the number of rooms he’d need and bathrooms, the kind of kitchen a chef would appreciate, an exercise room, and a basement. He went on and on and I grew envious and annoyed as the house grew larger and larger.

  My imagination got the best of me as I pictured him with Annalisa and a baby, having the life I wanted with Jeremy that I knew I couldn’t have.

  AFTER TALKING TO JEREMY, I needed time to get over my asinine behavior, acting like a prick who couldn’t control their emotions, but I didn’t have time, I had to get started on his blueprints, and put aside Phillip’s unfinished work for another day.

  I could never control my emotions around Jeremy from the minute I saw him. If I had, I wouldn’t have to try to forget him and live without thinking about him every minute.

  It had been foolish on my part, trying to force a man to be someone he wasn’t, but I wanted him too much to settle for part of him, and that was all I would have now, part of him. Did I want that? I had to decide before he arrived.

  I’d decided.

  I wanted him any way I could have him. Married or not. Waiting for him to come to me in the middle of the day or night, I’d make myself available to him. I’d come a long way from telling Phillip that I wanted a man of my own who was exclusive to me.

  AFTER DRAWING UP THE plans immediately after I’d said goodbye to Jeremy, I recognized that my day would be full, and there was no way I could have lunch, so I called in Cecilia and asked her to bring me something from the deli. Corned beef on rye and pickles. Fuck staying trim and fit. For what? I wasn’t having any more luck by keeping in shape for the man who would find me one day and make an honest man out of me.

  That was my problem. I was honest. If I’d fucked around on Phillip with men who wanted me, then I wouldn’t be here waiting and working my ass off while the man of my dreams was getting married and planned on having children.

  If I had any sense, I’d be out fucking the first guy who smiled at me, but instead I was here, praying that time pass so I can see that man who fascinated me with his magnificent body, his stunning good looks, and his vulnerability. That night he came to me, fell to his knees and sucked my cock, before asking for a hug, he had looked broken, and I wanted to be the one to put him together, but he wouldn’t say it. He wouldn’t say those words which would free him— “I’m gay and I need you.”

  I hoped that wouldn’t be my last memories of him. Now I was determined that it wouldn’t be.

  I found that he fascinated me the way his personality changed each time I saw him. He was complicated. I liked this complicated man with brooding deep-blue eyes, who hid his true feelings, because when they let loose it was like a dam bursting, and I wanted to be around when that dam broke.

  And it didn’t help that he had one of the most outrageously handsome faces I’d ever seen.

  As my sketches came to life, I reached for my red sign pen to edit the drawing, it occurred to me that Jeremy had never fucked me, and yet I felt as if he’d been inside me each time I met him. From what he’d said about mixing business with pleasure, and when he showed up at my door with flowers, and said that he too was a bottom, he probably never would.

  I sat back and looked at what I’d drawn. A fucking beautiful home that I would never live in. I glanced down at the design and I thought of tearing it up, but I didn’t. I paced around my drafting table, saying, “Fuck him. Fuck him.” I stood in one spot staring at the door.

  I took hold of my emotions and traipsed back to my drawing table to complete the plans to a home I would never get fucked in. I really didn’t know how I could get through this. I’d probably have to go out to the construction site and see his beautiful face.

  Then I had a bright idea. I’d create a room just for me, as a joke. He won’t know the difference.

  Finally, I’d finished. The plans were done—at least for now. I asked Cecilia to straighten my desk and office and I let her go early. I needed to shower and change before Jeremy came waltzing through my door.

  When I glanced at the time after exiting the shower, I shuddered. I had stayed in the shower too long. I wanted to jerk off, before Jeremy got here. I didn’t want to be uptight and look desperate, but I didn’t want it now. I wanted that heated feeling of desire for this man. I wanted him to see the half-lidded look in my eyes that said I needed to be fucked.

  Maybe Jeremy would see me and take me, and if that happened—which I was under no illusions about—I needed to be ready for him. But how could I not, when every time I looked into his handsome face, my heart beat widely and slid up into my throat?

  I needed him to take me.

  I put on a pair of jeans, shrugged my arms through the sleeves of a white shirt, and a dark blue jacket. Not my usual attire, but what the hell, I had to look businesslike and professional. He did say this was business, and I wanted to keep it like that, even if I had prayed that it would turn into something more erotic, more romantic. I stood facing the mirror, making sure my hair was just right, and although I looked casual, that wasn’t enough.

  I wanted to appeal to Jeremy sexually. I wanted his cock to twitch the way mine did whenever I thought about him or saw him.

  After slipping into my shoes, I heard the bell and glanced up at the clock. It was six, and he was on time. My cock twitched, my hands shook, and my breath hitched as I closed my hands holding them to my side. I took one more turn at the mirror, checking my hair and inspecting my zipper to see that I’d zipped my jeans.

  That would have been a tell-tale sign if my hard cock met him at the door, since I wasn’t wearing underwear.

  Everything appeared to be okay, except my heart thumped so loud, I thought it was the sound of an old-fashioned clock ticking outside my window.

  I opened the door, and standing facing me was Jeremy, dressed in a black shirt and black slacks. He looked gorgeous. Never had I seen anyone as handsome. Oh, fuck me.

  “Come in, Mr. Westbrook.”

  “I think you can call me Jeremy for now.”

  “Remember, you set the ground rules. It should be all business between us,” I reminded him.

  He glanced at me as if he hadn’t seen me in months. Slanted his head, smiled as his eyes wavered, and worked from my hair down to my jeans. When his eyes lowered, he swiped his tongue over his lower lip. Then he turned quickly, staring at my drafting table, and strode in that direction to pick up my plans. He turned to his right as I stood nearby.

  “Is this my home?”

  “Yes,” I whispered. I gazed at his magnificent profile against the cityscape, when he went to stand near my floor-to-ceiling windows.

  “This is more than I expected.” He smiled, bit his thumb, then with both hands holding the plans, he reverently placed them down on the work table. Locking eyes with me Jeremy said, “Come closer. I don’t bite.”

  “Not when you suck cock.”

  He narrowed his eyes, furrowed his brow, and then chuckled out loud. I strolled close to him. I could smell a different aftershave. I guessed he changed that like he changed who he slept with at night. I had come to realize that if I wanted him I would have to be just a fuckboy, and maybe I was willing to go along with that for a while. I just needed to be near him.

  Jeremy reached out and held my hand. “Tell me about this home.”

  I glanced up at him and explained what I’d done. I revealed that it didn’t take long to come up with the design of the house, which I’d never drawn for anyone before, because it was my dream house for when I could afford it, and his home would be a one of a kind.

  He listened attentively, and appeared impressed at what I’d done in just a few hours.

  I found myself sitting next to Jeremy on the sofa as we talked about the house, how much it would cost to build it, but he didn’t seem to mind. He appeared to not need money the way I did.

  Jeremy rose from the couch and I stood up with him. He turned to face me with his b
ack to the door. “I’ll have my secretary wire the check into your firm’s account. Is there anything else that you need, Dorian?” I blinked, because I didn’t understand the question. Fuck yes I needed a lot.

  I need you, I thought, when our eyes locked. Yet I didn’t tell him that. Instead, I mumbled, “Say it?” He stared at me. His eyes half-lidded and another swipe of his lip with his tongue.

  “Say what?”

  “You know what I want you to say.” He pulled me to him, placed his hand around my neck and I felt his cock pulse. I gazed into his eyes, breathless, flushed, heart pounding.

  Jeremy’s eyes had a strange deep-blue color to them. He didn’t smile. He wasn’t happy or sad. I couldn’t read his expression, but I could read his body and it said it all. “I want you,” when he dragged me closer to him where nothing could pass between us.

  Then I felt his cock stir and grow harder. I smelled a hint of liquor mixed with peppermint on his breath.

  “Do you want me to say I love you, because—”

  I didn’t want to hear that. I didn’t think he would tell the truth, so I interrupted him. I didn’t want him professing his love for me, because I didn’t think he felt what I felt.

  “Tell me that you’re gay? I want you to say it to me. You don’t have to tell anyone else, just say it to me, and mean it. Not like the last times we were together.”

  “If I do, then what next?”

  “Then I’ll be yours when you need me. Annalisa doesn’t have to know.”

  Jeremy raised one eyebrow and slanted his head to the right in disbelief. “What if I don’t give a fuck if she, or any one knows.” Jeremy paused. “I’m gay. Now I’ve said it. What now, Dorian?”

  “Now you have to own it.”

  He glared at me, his look made my heart race and thump inside my chest.

  “Take that damn jacket off, Dorian.” When I didn’t take it off quickly enough for him, he reached for the lapels, pulled it down my arms and off, then threw it to the side. “Go on. I want to see you.” When I didn’t move, he grabbed the front of my shirt and snapped it open as I watched the buttons fly.