Fascination Series Boxed Set: Books 1-3 Read online

  “Have you met him?”

  “Jeremy Westbrook? I’ve heard about him, but never met him,” Phillip admitted, sitting at the edge of the bed, pushing my feet to the side, then I laid my feet over his thighs.

  The Viking boyfriend suddenly showed, standing at the open door with his arms crossed, biting his bottom lip with his eyes aimed at Phillip, then at me. “This isn’t a flophouse for drunks,” he barked.

  “Who the fuck are you to tell me anything,” I hissed. “This is between me and Phillip.”

  “We’re engaged that’s who I am.” He raised his ring finger and jiggled it in front of me.

  Phillip turned to him. “I need to talk to Dorian. Please excuse us, Eric,” Phillip said, with a soft voice. “I’ll make it up to you, baby.”

  Well I was right, he’d lost not one ball, but both.

  The blond huffed and walked down the hall, then I heard a door slam. That was when Phillip turned to me with a furrowed brow and narrowed eyes. “Don’t ever barge in on me again at this time of night, Dorian.”

  “Phillip, that look used to affect me when you were fucking around with your fiancé, but I don’t give a flying fuck what you want. When your blond doctor wouldn’t leave his partner after you left me, I had to put up with your shit. Remember when you came to me, crying and drunk?”

  Phillip pushed my feet aside, rose, and walked to his side of the bed and laid down next to me, then he turned his body facing me, “What is it, Dorian? You never behaved like that over me.”

  “That’s because I never felt this way for any man. He’s not even my type, but I want to be with him. I’m infatuated with him, but he says he’s straight.”

  “Fuck me,” Phillip hissed, and closed his eyes for a second, then aimed his judgmental eyes my way. “Dorian, what have you done to yourself this time? I don’t know if I can help. I don’t know what to say to you. Why would you want to fuck around with a man who says he’s straight?”

  With Phillip’s usual behavior of blaming me and not listening, he’d jumped to conclusions again.

  Before I met Phillip, I’d been caught up in a number of relationships—even before I was eighteen—and was able to take care of myself fully.

  After my parents asked me to leave when they discovered that I was gay, they wanted me to follow their rules, but I’d found a job in a coffee house, and slept on friends’ sofas before I’d go back to listening to my parents, and with them planning on sending me to a place to rid me of my love of men, I knew I’d never return to that part of my life, or their home.

  The coffee house was where I’d met men who used me. I was too young to know the difference, or care.

  I wanted to feel loved.

  It was then Phillip had gone to our old neighborhood, looking for me, when my parents told him where I was. I’d been working at the coffee house for a few years after Phillip had gone off to college and started his own business. On finding me, Phillip took me in, and sent me to college.

  When I graduated, I made the mistake of accepting a position at his firm. At the time it worked out better than I thought, but as I grew older, I saw how Phillip had been using me, working me hard, sending me off to Europe, and assigning me to every little thing he didn’t want to take care of at the time, so he could have time with his men.

  Even when we parted, he’d hand over things to me he didn’t want to take care of. Like the auction and entertaining clients.

  “Don’t get me wrong, Phillip. I don’t want your help, or need it. I just want someone to listen who understands me, and understands what I’m going through,” I sighed, blowing out a large breath.

  I really wanted to be anywhere except here, but I didn’t know who I could open up to. Who better than a man who had known me all my life, and who shared our secrets? We had told each other we were gay when we confided in no one else.

  “All I can say is, I’ll be there for you, Dorian, and listen to you if you promise not to come to my house and disrupt my life with Eric.”

  I stared at him. “I promise.”

  I thought that if he could lie to me about not having an affair with that vet, a small lie wouldn’t condemn me to hell, or make Phillip stop loving me as a lifelong friend. I forgave him. If he was truly my friend, he could forgive me for this lie, at least once.

  Phillip turned to me. “Now what’s so important besides Jeremy Westbrook not showing up for a date?” I tightened my jaw.

  “I’m not going to pay fifty thousand or a hundred thousand for someone who doesn’t show up or call. Let Max Gold know that I want my money back, and he’s going to get fifty thousand from Glisson. And tell Max Gold that Jeremy didn’t keep his part of the contract. Let Jeremy pay the other half of the hundred thousand.”

  “I guess that’s fair. Max is a fair person and he’ll understand. But, looking at you, that’s not enough. What else is eating you?”

  “I think I’m in love.” Phillip raised an eyebrow. “Not the way I love you. There’s a bond between us that can’t be broken. We were friends before we became lovers, Phillip. Why do you think I can forgive you, but I’m seriously attracted to Jeremy?”

  “Like you said, he’s straight... or he’s pretending he is. That’s worse.” I waited for Phillip to explain. He looked at me for the longest time, as if he was collecting his thoughts, thinking about a lost lover, or making it up as he went. Phillip bit his lip on the right and sighed, then leaned over and kissed my forehead. “If a man lies to himself, he sometimes believes it. The worse thing is to believe a lie about yourself.” I guessed Phillip knew. To my surprise, he pulled me into his arms where I laid on his chest and fell asleep.

  When I woke in the dark, with only the light from the digital clock, I saw that it was 3 a.m. I turned to reach for him, because the warmth of his body had deserted me. I touched Phillip, and ran my palm along his shoulder. I glanced over, gripping his shoulder when I saw Eric lying in front of him. Phillip had his arms wrapped tightly around his waist, and the other hand between the blond’s legs.

  This was too intense for me. Two naked men and then there was me—dressed. I climbed out of bed, trying not to disturb the lovers, but before my feet hit the hardwood floor, the blond was standing and staring at me.

  “I’m leaving,” I reported.

  Heading for the door, with the blond trailing behind me, I stopped to look at him. The blond strutted in front of me, his eyes narrowing as he grumbled, “I was wondering when you would get the fuck out and leave us alone. He’s not your man anymore.” He wouldn’t leave it at that, he had to add, “The next time you come here, it better be to let me fuck you.”

  “That will be the day,” I snapped, meeting his blues eyes with a pair of serious green ones.

  “Then don’t come back.”

  Reaching for the handle, I opened the door, and then turned back feeling his presence behind me, standing there, naked, palming his dick.

  I glanced up at him, and sneered, “Fuck off. If you’re looking for a threesome, it won’t be with me.”

  He huffed, “We’ll see about that.” He slammed the door after I walked into the hall. I reached for my phone and didn’t bother to look at the messages. There were none. I ordered an Uber and didn’t have to wait long.

  When I climbed into the Uber, I thought about Phillip and his fiancé. Phillip probably enjoyed the thickness of his cock. It didn’t have much length, but it was ample enough. I chuckled. You never knew what men liked, or what would get one man to go crazy over another.

  And that brought me back to Jeremy Westbrook and my fascination with him. That tall, handsome, gorgeous man, with the blue eyes and large hands, who probably had a cock that would fill me for days and leave me wanting more, but who couldn’t be trusted to keep his word. I had to get over him somehow, and I knew I would. But, not today, not tomorrow and probably not next year, but someday.

  At least he’d never fucked me. That was my saving grace otherwise I’d turn into a stalker. I’d escaped that test, b
ecause if he had fucked me, I’d probably hang around hoping for another turn with him, which would never come again, and I’d make myself available just to be with him anytime, anywhere, and anyway he wanted and needed me.

  When Jeremy contacted me about picking me up for our date, he didn’t miss telling me, “I’m straight. Proceed at your own risk.”

  Well, I had, and now I had to accept the cost of being with someone straight—there was no hope of him being with me in the way I envisioned. He didn’t have the least respect for me, otherwise he would have called me and given me an excuse, no matter how flimsy it was.

  When faced with the reality that he might find me attractive, Jeremy couldn’t go through with the date. He’d lied to himself, and he’d probably lied so long that he’d forgotten the truth. I’d like to think that was why he didn’t call or come.

  Chapter 10

  Jeremy

  The ambulance was taking it’s time. Carter scooped Lindsey into his arms, his eyes wide. He turned in a circle looking to me for answers.

  “Let’s go. We can get her to the emergency room before it gets here. I’ll drive.”

  I reached in the closet and threw a blanket over Lindsey as Carter hurried out the door, with me behind him, not bothering to lock the door. When we reached my SUV, I drove like a mad man to the nearest hospital, which wasn’t far, thank God, especially with Carter screaming and begging not to let anything happen to Lindsey.

  When I glanced into the rearview mirror, his eyes wavered between me and Lindsey, then back to me. Between the tears and curses, Carter pleaded for Lindsey to hang in there, and for me to go faster. I couldn’t drive any faster without getting into an accident.

  “Her water broke,” he shouted, then Carter raised his hand to touch my shoulder. I glanced back at them in the rearview mirror, Carter held his hands up, staring at them. His hands were covered with blood. “This can’t be good,” he murmured, between shouting and crying.

  “We’ll be there in a minute, Carter. Calm down.”

  “That’s easy for you to say, Jeremy, she’s not your wife.” Then, his eyes narrowed and an accusatory glare masked the once calm, happy eyes of my brother. He glared at me in the mirror, “Your baby is killing Lindsey.”

  “It’s your baby and she’s not killing her mother.” I didn’t think I’d been convincing by the desperate look in Carter’s eyes. “The baby is yours, not mine, Carter. Now let me concentrate and get Lindsey into the emergency ward. Lindsey and the baby will be okay once we get there.”

  It was then Carter didn’t say a word. I think he’d been in shock, but then he shouted, “Lindsey isn’t breathing. She isn’t breathing, Jeremy, do something.”

  There was nothing I could do but drive faster.

  I’d been driving through heavy traffic, running red lights, blowing the horn to alert unsuspecting drivers that I was barreling through stoplights. I couldn’t very well announce that I had to get to the hospital and couldn’t stop.

  All I had to do was make sure I didn’t crash in this raw cool rainy weather as I ran through red lights to get to the hospital.

  The hospital was only three miles from Carter and Lindsey’s home, but it felt as if it was a hundred miles away. If I could ever get there, Lindsey would have a chance, the baby would have a chance, but with Carter cursing and crying, and me almost hitting cars, with Carter distracting me at every turn, it would be a miracle.

  I’d prayed that anyone driving would see me before I crashed and killed someone, and maybe all of us, including the innocent baby I’d had the foolish notion to help Lindsey and Carter conceive.

  Trying to keep the car on the road, I was also watching around for police cars. Usually the police were parked up giving out speeding tickets, but where the fuck were they now? My heart felt as if it was in my mouth and my heartbeat raced. I’d driven like a maniac trying to get a very pregnant Lindsey, and a hysterical Carter to the emergency ward.

  Nearing the hospital, I could see the sign. This hospital had been the closest to their home—maybe not the one where her doctor had residence, but at this time it didn’t matter. I knew Carter hadn’t called their doctor, because he didn’t want to be separated from Lindsey, not even to reach for his phone.

  As I blew the horn and parked the car in the emergency lane, I didn’t see any ambulances, because they were probably out and the weather was playing a part in the slow response time. I made up the distance and time better than the fire department’s emergency vehicle could have. Ten minutes and I was here. I felt proud of myself. But for what?

  I brought the car to a stop, rushed to the car door, pulled a shocked Carter out of the car, grabbed Lindsey in my arms and ran screaming for help. Thank goodness Carter had the wherewithal to follow.

  Lindsey had been a small woman before. Only five three and wearing a size zero. Now she’d put on considerable weight because of the baby, but she still felt light as a feather.

  When we entered the hospital, Carter jogged alongside us, holding Lindsey’s hand, and whispering, “Everything’s going to be alright, baby. Don’t worry, Jeremy’s here. He’ll make everything better.” We ran through the doors as they opened. I carried Lindsey in and both Carter and I screamed for help.

  Carter grabbed the first person who looked like a doctor and thankfully he was one.

  “We need help,” Carter screamed breathless.

  “I know. Lay her on the gurney,” the doctor said, pointing to the nearby bed. I did as the doctor had said, then he hit a buzzer and nurses and doctors came running and took Lindsey away.

  Even as the doctors, nurses and attendants were wheeling Lindsey into a room, Carter paced up and down talking to himself. “She can’t die.” Then he stared at me. “Jeremy, tell me she won’t die.”

  I brought my brother into my arms. What was I going to tell him? He wanted me to give him some peace. I looked him in his sad eyes and all I could say was, “She’s going to be alright, Carter.”

  Carter seemed to calm down in my arms, and then I led him to the washroom to clean the blood from his hands and make him appear half-presentable. We went to the waiting area and found a sofa to wait, but every few minutes he jumped to his feet and paced, then looked at the area where they’d taken Lindsey.

  It was at that moment I was able to think, and I remembered that I had a date. There was no way in hell I could leave Carter, because he needed me.

  I’d always been with Carter when he needed me, in school, on the playground, college, and when he found out he couldn’t have children, I gave my sperm. I’d been there for him through every important moment in his life, except one.

  We were the younger ones, Jack, me, and Carter. Carter our youngest brother had been under our care whenever we’d played. Jack and I were supposed to take care of him and watch over him, but we’d left him alone to ride his bike without placing his helmet on his head. Jack and I were fighting over a ball when a car came out of nowhere and hit Carter, leaving him in a coma for days and injuring his face. I stayed with him through all his surgeries, and I’d been with him ever since when he needed me.

  Carter affected Jack in a different way. Jack became withdrawn and aloof. He didn’t have many friends after that accident, and blamed himself, just as I did.

  There was no way I could leave Carter now. I checked the time and it was past the time I was meant to pick up Dorian for our date.

  Carter rose from the sofa and glanced over at me. I pretended that I’d been looking at my watch, not checking for messages.

  “What’s wrong, Jeremy? Why haven’t the doctors come out? Shouldn’t they tell us something? Is she...?”

  “No, of course not. These things take a long time. It’s obvious Lindsey and the baby were under stress. They want to make sure everything is alright before they can see the proud father.” I placed my hand around his shoulder and Carter gazed up at me with his sad trusting eyes.

  At a time like this there was no way I would tell him what I was thinking, b
ecause this was a time that deserved a lie, and besides, I didn’t know anything. Carter thought I had all the answers.

  I had none.

  “Why is it taking so long, Jeremy?” Carter insisted, as he paced up and down the hall, stopping at the door of the ER and trudging back to me without sitting.

  “Lindsey is having a baby remember. The next time the doctors come in, it will be to tell you that you have a baby girl, and your wife is doing fine. It’s not like it used to be. Mothers don’t die giving birth anymore.” In reality I knew the truth. The rate of women dying in childbirth had been rising steadily each year.

  The cold reality had me wishing I had a drink. I could use one now. I turned to Carter and reached for his hands. They were cold and shaky.

  Chapter 11

  Dorian

  I didn’t know why I put myself through that shit. Going over to Phillip’s apartment and have his slut boyfriend glare at me as if I had lost my mind.

  I must be losing it to think that a man as handsome, well connected in society, and rich as Jeremy Westbrook would even look at me. For some reason after stepping out of the Uber, I walked to the garage. I stood looking at my Jeep. I could go around and park my car and see if he’s home. Oh shit this is stupid. I’m turning into a stalker.

  Yet, I climbed into my Jeep with the intention of driving around his apartment which was the dumbest idea I’d ever had. Instead, I drove out of my garage, found a parking space in front of my building, and there I sat, listening to music. Then I decided to drive back to Phillip’s apartment. Another dumb idea. When you were lonely as I was tonight, you did all kinds of stupid shit.

  I’d been parked in front of Phillip’s building for what I thought was a minute, but it must have been longer. What was I thinking? I didn’t want Phillip anymore, yet I felt a connection to him. I needed to feel connected to someone. This early in the morning no one was around, not even the usual early morning dog walkers, only me, sitting alone, stone-cold sober in my Jeep thinking about Jeremy Westbrook, and listening to a song Phillip had played for me once, and told me the story behind that song. I think it was California Dreamin’.